What People Do When They Don’t Really Love You

What People Do When They Don’t Really Love You… Thought Catalog is prime though!!!

Thought Catalog

I try to lace my work with optimism because a guiding principle in my own life has been that the most tragic things in our lives almost always precede the most incredible. I think that, at any given point, we are faced with the choice of whether to move on with what the universe gives and takes or to hold on and bury ourselves in our own misery. I do not perch on a high horse preaching this, because I have been in those depths, and I know what it’s like. I also know that there are few issues that will destroy you faster than matters of the heart. But what I must tell you is that while teaching myself to climb out of that sadness and attachment-laden-misery, I realized something that is a bit more realistic than optimistic, but so invariably true that it’s worth giving attention to.


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Wrapping It Up

“Love is so short, forgetting is so long.’ – Pablo Nerudo […] when trying to move on, the moments we always go back to aren’t the mundane ones. They are the moments you saw sparks that weren’t really there, felt stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are moments of […] extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and unthinkable letdown. The [experiences] that went from zero to a hundred miles per hour and then hit a wall and exploded. […] And when the dust settled, it was something I’d never take back. Because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. And there’s something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that’s never coming. And there’s something to be proud of about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust.” – Taylor Swift; Red Prologue

Well, over one month into the year – and it is absolutely flying by. So much changes so fast, I can barely keep up. I wanted to come back to this quote before 2014 kept rolling and completely left this topic in the past. Some old pictures sparked some thoughts. This quote really spoke to me through what was one of the hardest struggles of last year, a break-up. Many months later (why it can’t just take a few days I’ll never know…), I’ve finally reached the light of the other side! I might still harbor some hurt feelings and “what if’s,” but those probably won’t ever go away (until they’re replaced (; !). Really, when you fall in love and it doesn’t work out, the pain is how you know you gave it all you had. Those negative feelings are proof you’re alive, you’ve learned, it was real and it mattered. Great! But you can’t harbor them and expect to live a positive life. This whole experience definitely gave me an insider view to the power of your thoughts!! Coming out on the other side, I can see it would have never worked out anyways… I was way too incredibly busy. I might have really loved him, but he was by no means “perfect” like I thought him to be, and my skewed view often prevented me from being authentically and unapologetically myself. If given the choice, I wouldn’t take it back; but I also wouldn’t go back [to him]. I did not quite have my life as sorted out and as organized as I believed I did. And I needed to learn the truth that life really is out of your control. “Break up” isn’t something I scheduled in my planner or would put on my resume. It was a huge reminder God has [possibly different] plans for me; so don’t take yourself, or life, too seriously. Rather, live up the moment, work diligently, and watch them unfold before you! Carpe diem, baby!!

God’s word has lessons galore from this whole experience!! 

Any break up will test your willingness to follow God’s simplest truths. God commands us to love and to forgive, just as he loves you and has forgiven you. God commands us to not speak ill of those who have sinned against us. God does on his own timing, not based on your desires. And lastly, the concept of “the one” – God works for the good of all those who love him, promising plans to prosper. But never does he promise to plan every detail of your life and to have a “correct” choice for every decision you will ever face. Pray and trust that you make decisions using the wisdom of God given to you through the Holy Spirit, and remember that he is omnipresent, already waiting for you in the future, to help you prosper under any decision you make as a child of God.

My favorite line is “And theres something to be proud of about moving on and realizing […] that real love doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust.” It’s a PERFECT description for the love of God. God loves you more in one second than anyone else can love you for an entire lifetime. When one problem, or one negative happening, pops up, it’s a perfect reminder of five other things to be thankful for. For example, a boy broke your heart? Thank God that his love is perfect. Thank God for showing his love through the continual support and chocolate-giving from the amazing people he has blessed me with. For giving me new things to be hopeful about and reminding me that the world will go on, as it is much bigger than my boy problems. As Jesus says “Take heart, for in this world you may have trouble, but I have overcome the world.” Thank you for making boys my biggest problem! And for reminding me that my worth is defined in him alone. I pray that God heals the wounds in my heart, teaching me to more greatly appreciate his grace and forgiveness. And I pray that God continually works on my heart to make me into a wife perfect for a man that loves him! I pray that God will continually mold me as his servant, using whatever gifts he has blessed me with to bring him glory. I pray that my life and presence may be a light and warmth to others; that I will always be someone that tells others they can; that I am slow to anger, and quick to love; that I am strong in my beliefs and bold in my faith.

“But the attitude of faith is to let go, and to become open to the truth, whatever it might turn out to be.” – Alan Watts says it best!! Have faith. Let it go. Be open. Love God. XO